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posted by [personal profile] laylee at 02:44pm on 05/08/2012 under

My mum's in hospital. She was admitted on Thursday with pneumonia. I've been in Ballarat all weekend - heading home now - and I'll come back up next weekend. She looks terrible, to be honest, and I'm not sure that we shouldn't be looking at trying to get her into a high care residence in the near future. I don't know. It's so hard to decide what to do. I feel pretty useless to be honest.

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There are 16 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
celli: a woman and a man holding hands, captioned "i treasure" (Default)
posted by [personal profile] celli at 05:23am on 05/08/2012
posted by [identity profile] at 09:26am on 06/08/2012
Thank you

catwalksalone: A big purple monster hugs his best friend (jellaby and portia)
posted by [personal profile] catwalksalone at 07:25am on 05/08/2012
Oh, love. *hughughug*

I remember how my mum felt in a similar situation with Gran. You can only do what you think is best--ask for all the advice you can from wherever you can get it and keep talking to your sibs. *sends positive thoughts your family's way*
posted by [identity profile] at 11:39am on 06/08/2012
We're lucky in that two of my brother-in-law's sisters work for aged care so they're very good fonts of information (especailly Sal, who's job it is to inspect and assess aged care facilities) so we can always go to them for advice if needed. It's not easy, though, especailly to try and strike a balance of what mum wants and what's best for her.
posted by [identity profile] at 09:52am on 05/08/2012
*hugs* Positive thoughts in your direction and I hope she improves quickly
posted by [identity profile] at 11:28am on 06/08/2012
I rang her tonight and she's sounding a lot better, which is good. Still a worry, though, and even moreso since I'm up here and she's down there and I can't just drop everything and run if I need to.

ext_3751: (Default)
posted by [identity profile] at 10:40am on 05/08/2012
I'm very sorry to hear it, and hope she soon recovers.

A residential home is probably a good idea from many points of view, but the important one is your mother's, and what she wants. (I can say this quite airily now, my own mother having died; when she was alive, sitting around aimlessly and being semi-incontinent, I really wished she would go into a home, and had a very hard time reminding myself that it was her decision, not ours.) If she can't face a home, can you get her a carer?

posted by [identity profile] at 12:11pm on 05/08/2012
She's already in low-level residential care so that's not the issue. The issue is should we start looking at high-level care, which is something she'd hate but she's getting frailer and frailer by the week, but in the end it would be easier for us all if she made the decision herself and not have it forced upon her like it was when she finally realised that she couldn't stay in the house on her own any more and moved into Pineview.

At least my brother and sister are on my side in this so when the time comes, none of us will be alone in the decision making.

ext_3751: (Default)
posted by [identity profile] at 12:16pm on 05/08/2012
It's such a difficult position to be in. I'll send you more *hugs*, and hope that you manage to get something worked out that everyone can live with.
posted by [identity profile] at 08:55pm on 05/08/2012
*hugs* Hope your mum gets out of the hospital soon.

posted by [identity profile] at 11:45am on 06/08/2012
She's sounding a lot better today, but I don't imagine she'll be out before the weekend. Maybe not even until early next week. We'll just have to wait and find out.
posted by [identity profile] at 01:50am on 06/08/2012
*hugs and hugs*

I hope you find the best course.
posted by [identity profile] at 11:55am on 06/08/2012
it could be worse. I just thank the heavens that my siblings and I are all on the same page about this. It'd be so much harder if we were like my cousins who seem to embroiled in some sort of civil war over what to do with their mother (mum's sister).
posted by [identity profile] at 11:43pm on 06/08/2012
That would indeed suck! *sends more hugs*
posted by [identity profile] at 01:02pm on 06/08/2012

Could she do a short stay in a high-care facility as a kind of trial run? Our grandmother did that with low-care and it did help with the later transition. (Not sure if you can do that with high care, but worth a shot?)
posted by [identity profile] at 01:42am on 07/08/2012
I'm not sure. We'd have to look into it. The big problem is is finding a place that can take her. The waiting lists are so long, even for respite.


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