They Say What They Say

Thank you to everyone who replied to yesterday's post about my mum and offered hugs/sympathy/choklit, etc. Every small and large gesture is greatly appreciated and you have no idea how much all those messages in my inbox cheered me up when I stumbled into work this morning.

{{{{{hugs you all tight}}}}}

Just to let you know, what happened is that mum caught some sort of bug and with all the fuss and bother leading up to Christmas and such, she basically overdid things, got sick and aggravated her heart condition and lung disease¹. She developed large amounts of fluid on her heart and lungs and thus ended up in hospital. She's being discharged tomorrow and will be staying with my sister for a couple days before going home. We were hoping to get her in to respite care or a convalescent home or something, but apparently she's not sick enough for that so she's getting home help and meals-on-wheels for a couple of weeks instead. My brother is coming up on the weekend to stay with her and I'll go up for a day next weekend, although I can't stay because I have best work friend's birthday dinner party on Saturday.

Really it's all a bit fraught. My mum is 84 and her health is not good, yet she refuses to move out of her big, cold house and into a retirement village or some such. But at the same time she keeps complaining about how lonely she gets and she would love it to have someone around all the time to make her cups of tea and cook her meals for her, all of which could be achieved if she made to move into assisted living. I think she wants my sister, my brother or myself to ask her to come live with one of us, but at the same time she won't go to Warnambool where J is, she won't come to Melbourne where I am, and she'd soon get fed up with all the noise the kids make at N's house.

And because she's the one living the closest, it's my sister who is shouldering most of the burden of ensuring that mum is okay and dealing with the doctors and the hospital, doing her shopping and making sure the dog is taken care of. I do what I can but I'm limited to weekends which really means bugger-all in the long run. And as for my brother - well, he did come when summoned last week, but y'all know what it's like trying to get most guys to help care for a sick family member. Mum's dog is more nurturing than J is. At this point in time I would seriously consider moving back if I could get a decent job there. But there are no jobs and I'm not going to waste half my life commuting to and from Melbourne each day.

I have no idea what to do at the moment. I want to do more, but I don't know what or how and I really do wish someone would come along and just say to mum, "For you and your kids' sake this is what you have to do, E." and have her actually do it.




¹Note to all the smokers on my flist: my mum gave up smoking forty years ago and yet she still developed a smoking-related illness. DON'T SMOKE!

Thank you to everyone who replied to yesterday's post about my mum and offered hugs/sympathy/choklit, etc. Every small and large gesture is greatly appreciated and you have no idea how much all those messages in my inbox cheered me up when I stumbled into work this morning.

{{{{{hugs you all tight}}}}}

Just to let you know, what happened is that mum caught some sort of bug and with all the fuss and bother leading up to Christmas and such, she basically overdid things, got sick and aggravated her heart condition and lung disease¹. She developed large amounts of fluid on her heart and lungs and thus ended up in hospital. She's being discharged tomorrow and will be staying with my sister for a couple days before going home. We were hoping to get her in to respite care or a convalescent home or something, but apparently she's not sick enough for that so she's getting home help and meals-on-wheels for a couple of weeks instead. My brother is coming up on the weekend to stay with her and I'll go up for a day next weekend, although I can't stay because I have best work friend's birthday dinner party on Saturday.

Really it's all a bit fraught. My mum is 84 and her health is not good, yet she refuses to move out of her big, cold house and into a retirement village or some such. But at the same time she keeps complaining about how lonely she gets and she would love it to have someone around all the time to make her cups of tea and cook her meals for her, all of which could be achieved if she made to move into assisted living. I think she wants my sister, my brother or myself to ask her to come live with one of us, but at the same time she won't go to Warnambool where J is, she won't come to Melbourne where I am, and she'd soon get fed up with all the noise the kids make at N's house.

And because she's the one living the closest, it's my sister who is shouldering most of the burden of ensuring that mum is okay and dealing with the doctors and the hospital, doing her shopping and making sure the dog is taken care of. I do what I can but I'm limited to weekends which really means bugger-all in the long run. And as for my brother - well, he did come when summoned last week, but y'all know what it's like trying to get most guys to help care for a sick family member. Mum's dog is more nurturing than J is. At this point in time I would seriously consider moving back if I could get a decent job there. But there are no jobs and I'm not going to waste half my life commuting to and from Melbourne each day.

I have no idea what to do at the moment. I want to do more, but I don't know what or how and I really do wish someone would come along and just say to mum, "For you and your kids' sake this is what you have to do, E." and have her actually do it.




¹Note to all the smokers on my flist: my mum gave up smoking forty years ago and yet she still developed a smoking-related illness. DON'T SMOKE!