They Say What They Say

Because I had no internet access while I was on holiday, I got out of the habit of posting even on a random basis, which is why it's been nearly two weeks since I last updated. However I do want to start getting the tales of my adventures in New York down in writing while the memories are still fresh in my mind.

Day one really starts at the airport. I'd stayed with my brother the night before because he lives closer to Tullamarine than I do and he was dropping me off. I'd packed a couple of days before, but in my usual fashion I'd had a slight panic before I went to bed and decided to reorganise everything in my suitcase. Also I'd forgotten a couple of things so a trip to the supermarket was necessary.

I got the the airport before Helen and instantly panicked at the size of the queue. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I'd gone to the wrong desk, so once I actually worked out where I was supposed to be it wasn't too bad.

Helen turned up about twenty minutes after I did and because she has Qantas club membership, we were able to bypass the main queue and got straight to the check-in desk. We'd booked our tickets separately because we bot wanted to claim frequent fliers, however we still wanted to sit together so there was a bit of phaffing around while the attendant found two seats together, one on the aisle. I was somewhat alarmed that my suitcase was only three kilos under the allowed weight, but I carried on regardless.

After we'd checked in Darren, Helen's boyfriend, bought coffee and we lingered around for a while, then they practiced a spot of PDA before we had to disappeared through the Doors to customs and security. Fortunately neither of us are axe murders or bank robbers so they let us through with no problem, then Helen drifted to have a browse around the duty free shops while I stood in line to claim back the tax on the camera I'd bought the week before. It was at that point in time that I got stuck behind every departing tourist who had a beef about the amount they could claim back on the various goods they'd purchased. However it gave me enough time to field about twenty texts from various friends and family and to talk to the kids on the phone.

Once I finally got to the counter it took me about two minutes to make my measly little claim and I headed straight to the duty free perfume shop where I managed to spend around $400 on perfume for mum, my sister and myself in five minutes flat. It took longer to pay for it than it did to choose it because once again I stuck behind Tourist With a Beef who were questioning the cost of a packet of jelly beans. Jelly beans!

I was storing the perfume at the airport until I got home, so once I'd finally paid for it I found Helen and we proceeded to the Travelex to organise cash cards and US dollars. That also took forever, however we still had time for a rest stop in the Qantas Club lounge where I took shameless advantage of Helen's membership to help myself to a couple of free gin and tonics and a cheese plate. I tell you, the Qantas Club lounge is heaven and I am definitely taking out membership for the next time I go on a long-haul flight. Having somewhere quiet to rest and relax and drink free booze away from the general hoi polloi is the best thing ever! However before we know it our flight was being called and we were off!

What can I say about the flight? It's fifteen hours cooped up in a tiny seat amongst a bunch of strangers, eating bad food and looking longingly at the drinks trolley every time it came around. I felt unendurable envy toward the woman who had the window seat in out row. She feel asleep almost at soon as the plane took off and didn't wake up again until about two hours outside of LA. Meanwhile Helen and I watched TV on demand, gratefully accepted second and even third drinks if they were offered, and managed about five or six hours of fitful sleep that was frequently interrupted by the baby across from us. Helen experienced the joys of what passes for gluten-free airline food and I happily accepted the biscuits and nuts from her treats pack. I couldn't concentrate on a movie so I watched many episodes of Top gear, a Doctor Who special I hadn't seen before and a half a Rick Stein cooking show. You have no idea how grateful we were when the lights of LAX finally appeared.

LAX, however, was not fun at all. It is entirely inhospitable and it took us so long to get through customs and security that we were seriously in danger of missing our connecting flight. Natually we got stuck in the queue for the Slowest Customs Agent Ever, but once again we were relieved to know that we weren't wanted criminals and they finally let us into the country, woot! \o/

However we'd taken so long that Qantas had sent out a search party for us and the couple of other passengers from the Melbourne flight who were connecting on to NYC. We grabbed our bags and literally sprinted up to security, managed to get the go ahead to jump to the head of the queue (and by that time I was getting very good at divesting myself of anything that could set the alarm off and making sure all my metals and liquids were ready for inspection) dumped our bags where we were told to and finally made it onto the plane...

...where we discovered that we'd been given an unexpected upgrade to business class! Hooray for better blankets and proper footrests!

However I have to say, the star of all my time on planes during this trip with the blow-up neck pillow I'd bought for my sister when she went to Dubai a couple of years ago. I may not have gotten much sleep, but at least I didn't develop a crick in my neck going there or coming home.

Once they'd fed and watered us I attempted to watch a spot of TV, but promptly feel asleep and that was that until we were about to land.

Disembarking at JFK was a lot easier than LAX because it was an internal flight, while we were a bit ragged we were very excited to finally be in New York that even the news that our suitcases failed to make it onto the same plane as us in LA and it would be three or four hours before they arrived failed to frazzle us too badly. Of course there was the pesky detail of how our winter coats were also IN our suitcases, but what the hey? I had my scarf, a pair of gloves, a warm top and a change of undies in my backpack and they gave us a $100 cash card to buy some necessities. So we freshened up a bit, bought a bottle of water and some mints at the newsstand and we were good to go.

However once we got outside and we realised how cold it really was, neither of us has good things to say about LAX or security checks that made you so late for your connecting flight that you had to dump your bag and run. With only my flimsy scarf for warmth, we shivered across to the taxi stand and jumped into the first cab we found. We were both alarmed to find it had a TV set into the back of the front seat, but that slowly dissipated as we made our way out of the airport and through Queens on our way to 222 W23rd Street, Chelsea.

OMG, we were in New York!

Before we knew it we were pulling up at the Hotel Chelsea and fumbling around to pay the driver without forgetting to tip him. I know it's an excuse, but Australian's really aren't used to tipping. It's not part of our culture so it does take a few days to adjust to forking out those extra few dollars at the end of a transaction.

We quickly hustled from the warmth of the cab to the warmth of the hotel lobby, countered the the lame joke the desk clerk made as he checked us in by polity informing him that we had no bags and made our way up to our room.

The hotel was fabulous. Some might think it was tired and rundown, and it is, but it also has the most amazing spiral staircase running up the centre of it, original contemporary art on every wall in the halls and rooms and the air of a place that has more than it's fair share of history behind it. For all we know room 321 was the same room that Arthur C. Clark wrote 2001: A Space Odyssey, or where Dylan Thomas died of alcohol poisoning.

I'd asked for a kitchenette when I made the booking so we wouldn't have to eat out every night. What was wasn't expecting was a balcony that overlooked 23rd st and the hotel sign. The bathroom was tiny, the TV only got a handful of stations, we never did work out how to use the oven and housekeeping's diligence in cleaning the room was often quite random, but for the next seven days it was ours!

Since we had no bags to unpack, we dumped the fee possessions we had with us and ventured out for a look around and to find something for dinner. We'd made it as far as the corner of 8th ave when we found what was to become our mecca; a Gap store. And what was even better, it was still open at seven o'clock at night! To two cold Australians who had gone from 28C to 32F, it was like finding god. We charged in and proceeded to spend, spend, spend. And what made it even better was that practically all their winter clothes were on sale to make way for the new seasons fashions. I bought two tops, a hoodie, three pairs of socks and a pair of pull on stretch pants to wear to bed. Because she was born to shop even more than I am, Helen bought twice as much. The sales assistant may have had to close the shop later than she'd wanted to, but she was not complaining at all as she handed over our bags stuffed full of bargains.

Next on the agenda was finding some basic toiletries that would tide us over until our bags turned up. Neither of us wanted to say it out loud, but we were both worried that they were gone for good so we sort of bought for the long term and not just to keep us going for a night or two. We hadn't yet noticed the CVS pharmacy next to the GAP shop (more on that later) so we went to this odd little shop on 23rd that sold hats and gloves, gifts and novelties and, thank god, toiletries and cosmetics. I quickly found toothpaste and a toothbrush, shampoo and conditioner and a few other necessities and because I only had the pair of tights I'd been wearing since I left Australia, I threw in a couple of pairs that were going for two for $20. In hindsight it was the best decision I ever made because I have fallen completely in love with Hue tights. They are the best I have ever worn, and not just because they're warm and they don't fall down. They're just so much better than anything I've ever bought in Australia. And because we both spent more than a certain amount we got free gifts!

Dinner was next. It was nearing 8pm by then and we were both starving. After some phaffing around while we tried to find a restaurant that had something on the menu that Helen could actually eat, we settled on a little Italian place a few doors up from the hotel. We both ordered the filet mignon and a bottle of red wine and once again we squeed from joy at being in New York! even the fact that they only had one steak left and I had to settle for the lasagne didn't dampen my enthusiasm. It was damn nice lasagne and once we'd finished dinner, the other bottle of red that we drank in the bar down stairs didn't go at all astray.

Finally we staggered home, full and slightly drunk, exhausted from spending 20 hours in a plane and cold because we had no coats. But none of it really mattered because were were in New York!