laylee | (no subject)

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My mum's in hospital. She was admitted on Thursday with pneumonia. I've been in Ballarat all weekend - heading home now - and I'll come back up next weekend. She looks terrible, to be honest, and I'm not sure that we shouldn't be looking at trying to get her into a high care residence in the near future. I don't know. It's so hard to decide what to do. I feel pretty useless to be honest.

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*hugs*

Thank you

*snugs*

Oh, love. *hughughug*

I remember how my mum felt in a similar situation with Gran. You can only do what you think is best--ask for all the advice you can from wherever you can get it and keep talking to your sibs. *sends positive thoughts your family's way*

We're lucky in that two of my brother-in-law's sisters work for aged care so they're very good fonts of information (especailly Sal, who's job it is to inspect and assess aged care facilities) so we can always go to them for advice if needed. It's not easy, though, especailly to try and strike a balance of what mum wants and what's best for her.

*hugs* Positive thoughts in your direction and I hope she improves quickly

I rang her tonight and she's sounding a lot better, which is good. Still a worry, though, and even moreso since I'm up here and she's down there and I can't just drop everything and run if I need to.

*sigh*

I'm very sorry to hear it, and hope she soon recovers.

A residential home is probably a good idea from many points of view, but the important one is your mother's, and what she wants. (I can say this quite airily now, my own mother having died; when she was alive, sitting around aimlessly and being semi-incontinent, I really wished she would go into a home, and had a very hard time reminding myself that it was her decision, not ours.) If she can't face a home, can you get her a carer?

*hugs*

She's already in low-level residential care so that's not the issue. The issue is should we start looking at high-level care, which is something she'd hate but she's getting frailer and frailer by the week, but in the end it would be easier for us all if she made the decision herself and not have it forced upon her like it was when she finally realised that she couldn't stay in the house on her own any more and moved into Pineview.

At least my brother and sister are on my side in this so when the time comes, none of us will be alone in the decision making.

*sigh*

It's such a difficult position to be in. I'll send you more *hugs*, and hope that you manage to get something worked out that everyone can live with.

*hugs* Hope your mum gets out of the hospital soon.

She's sounding a lot better today, but I don't imagine she'll be out before the weekend. Maybe not even until early next week. We'll just have to wait and find out.

*hugs and hugs*

I hope you find the best course.

it could be worse. I just thank the heavens that my siblings and I are all on the same page about this. It'd be so much harder if we were like my cousins who seem to embroiled in some sort of civil war over what to do with their mother (mum's sister).

That would indeed suck! *sends more hugs*

*hugs*

Could she do a short stay in a high-care facility as a kind of trial run? Our grandmother did that with low-care and it did help with the later transition. (Not sure if you can do that with high care, but worth a shot?)

I'm not sure. We'd have to look into it. The big problem is is finding a place that can take her. The waiting lists are so long, even for respite.

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